Transcription

[Edited for clarity]

[00:00:00] Intro: Coming to you from the hi-desert of Southern California, Red Bench Reviews brings you Today’s Sesh with Jon. Grab a joint, load your bong, or pack your pipe, and let’s get this sesh started.

[00:00:16] Jon: Hello, my friends, and welcome to the sesh. My name is Jon, and I’ll be your host as we continue the search for the holy grail of herb. Well, my friends, this is what we’re going to be doing this week. We’re going to be looking at a strain called Cereal Milk. And we’re going to get into the look, the smell, the taste, and completely run down the effects as I experience them. So stick around and let’s get this rolling.

[00:00:46] Cereal milk. That’s what’s left in your bowl after you had a big bowl of sugary cereal in the morning, and that is what the strain is named after. It is known for having an a taste that tastes like cereal milk. If that sounds good to you, hang on. Let’s talk about this.

[00:01:06] This is a balanced hybrid strain. This is the one comes right in the middle of that Indica/Sativa spectrum. It was originally bred by Powerzzzup of the Cookies family. This is a Cookies brand strain. Let’s talk about the cross. The cross of this one is Y Life, a strain I’ve never had before. It’s called Y Life. That’s just capital Y Life. And Y Life is Girl Scout Cookies crossed with Cherry Pie. Those are both strains I’ve had before and I love both of them very much. So, Y Life sounds like a strain that I would enjoy very much. Y Life is crossed with Snowman. And Snowman is a sativa dominant phenotype of cookies, of Girl Scout cookies. So, that also sounds like something I would like, but I’ve never tried it before. We’re looking at a little bit of an adventure for me this week.

[00:02:07] Last couple weeks we’ve done classic strains, ones that I have a lot of experience with. And this is a strain that I have no experience with. So I’m, I’m really looking forward to this… people have suggested on the comments on YouTube that I try out Cereal Milk and I’ve never gotten around to doing it. So this week we’re going to find out what this is like.

[00:02:31] This version of Cereal Milk that we’re going to be trying out comes to us from Coastal Sun. Coastal Sun is a brand that I have really lked ever since I started doing reviews in 2020. I hadn’t come across them before and I started doing reviews of Coastal Suns products and I’ve been very impressed.

[00:02:54] They’ve done a repackaging of their product and now it comes in a plastic box… plastic box bottle kind of thing. It is informative packaging, but we’ll get to that in just a second.

[00:03:09] Let’s talk about Coastal Sun as a brand. Coastal Sun is a very responsible company. They really pride themselves, at least that is what I understand – they really pride themselves in trying to do everything right. Their motto is “Healthy Plants Heal Humans”, and they practice several very biodiverse forms of farming. They have one form of farming they call regenerative farming. That is to put more nutrients back in the soil than you take out of it. So they are bringing the land back to where it should be by this kind of farming that they do.

[00:03:58] I just really like Coastal Sun. They give me a good vibe when I pick up their herb.

This is what we’re looking at today. I got an eighth of Cereal Milk here in front of me. It costs $19 plus tax. Wow. Let’s just talk for a second about the prices of herb these days here in California. It is very, very good for us consumers. Not so good for many of the companies that are producing herb, unfortunately. But this Coastal Sun 8th that I’m looking at, that costs $19 plus tax, uh, just so you know, that, that means it comes to about $27 or $28 out the door.

[00:04:45] And it came in this, this plastic box bottle container that is so informative. Every side of the four sides on this package contains information.

I’m just looking at one side that says, this is organic. It is organic grown herb and it’s got an organic seal on it. It is bioponic greenhouse grown. That means that it was grown in separate containers within a greenhouse. And it was grown in Santa Cruz, California by Coastal Sun Farms.

[00:05:20] Now, one of the things that’s the most important on the packaging is they have a QR code. And that QR code, I scanned it. And it took me to a PDF of the lab results – a page of lab results that I printed out. It tells you the THC level on this one. The THC totals 30.38%. That is really impressive. This was tested in April of 2023. It gives the terpenine profile. Just all kinds of information. The fact that they have lab results that you can access is a part of what I was talking about by Coastal Sun being a very responsible company.

[00:06:13] This packaging that they, that they have here, that’s supposed to keep a freshness to the herb. We’re going to take this to a test because this particular bottle was packaged on April 14th. 2023 and here we are on the 24th of July when I’m recording this and we’re going to see, because usually three months in a container, it’s going to dry out, but we’re going to find out how this keeps the freshness on the Coastal Sun herb.

[00:06:48] I do want to point out that we have photos on the redbenchreviews.com website. Just go under “Episode #Four, Cereal Milk” and check it out. We’ve got the transcript. We got photos. We’ll have photos of the herb, all that good stuff. So make sure to come over to redbentreviews. com to get the extras, as they say.

[00:07:12] Anyways, this package that I have in front of me. It is sealed and we’re gonna open that up here. It says that these are hand select. It says it all over the seal that this is hand select. So we’re expecting some nice stuff inside here. Let’s see what Coastal Sun has put in here. Okay.

[00:07:36] Remove that packaging here. And it says on the side to pinch. Ah, and it just pops right off. Hmm, not impressed by the smell right off the bat there. That is a little green. Little green smelling. Hmm, okay, well, let me tell you what we’re looking at here. I’m looking down and there are some nugs in here that are very, very frosty. For greenhouse grown, this is incredibly frosty herb. It is light green, light green because it’s white with trichomes. I’m looking down at a bunch of little nugs, and it looks very well trimmed, very well prepared. But, I’m not sure if this plastic container is great at holding the flavor or the aroma because it’s greener smelling than I expect. But we’re gonna cut it up and we’ll see how it is when I cut it up. Hang on just one second. Let me go photograph these…

[00:08:44] Okay, I’m back from photographing Really impressed – the look of these nugs. They look really frosty, really impressive. Check out the photos on redbenchreviews.com.

[00:08:56] Let’s give this a cut. Let’s get into this. I picked this biggest nug. It was 1.01 grams. And so these are kind of these small buds that we have here. Let’s cut into this and let’s see what it’s like. Oh, that’s a nice cut. Oh, that cuts really nicely. Not dry at all.

[00:09:20] Okay, now we get the smell. Now we get the aroma. As I cut, I did this first cut, and already I can smell, oh that doughy, that, doughy kind of smell. Sugary. It is very sugary. Oh my gosh, that is really sugary smelling. It has a touch of sage in it. A Little gassy, little gassy… oh, this is cutting up really nice… I’m getting distracted from cutting it up because I’m like, Oh, this just smells so wonderful. It’s not a huge nose, but it’s as you zoom in on it, as it’s on the tray, the aroma is just popping up here at me.

[00:10:07] Oh my gosh, this is really nice. It’s kind of sticky. I’m cutting this up. Cuts into nice little chunks, it’s not falling apart, it’s cutting up into little pieces. Oh my gosh, my fingers are all covered with sticky beautiful aromas, my goodness. Oh my, okay, nug cut up. We’re gonna put this in my bong, and let’s give this a taste. Let’s, let’s take a hit here. And see what this is like.

[Sound of bong toke]

[00:10:57] Hmm.

[00:11:03] First impression, very dank. Very dank. Oh my gosh. That hits all the right notes. I don’t know about cereal milk taste. I’m not getting that yet. Let’s, let’s try one more hit. Ah! Ah! Oh my. Alright. That is already, I, this is not a creeper. This one is like, is right there. It’s right there, oh my gosh.

[Sound of bong toke]

[00:11:54] Oh my goodness. So rich, earthy. Dank. Solid. Little bit of charcoal y.

[00:12:10] Very interesting. I don’t think I’m getting the taste experience that most people get when they smoke Cereal Milk. I’m going to try this one out of my pipe later because my pipe sometimes gets a little more of the subtle flavors. The bong just like overwhelmed my lungs just now with that huge hit.

[00:12:31] Oh my gosh. That is really something that is… that is all… well, I’m not going to tell you about the effects until I’ve sat on this for about 10 minutes. So let’s, let’s take a 10 minute break. I’m gonna – well, it’ll be just a second for you – but I’m going to take a 10 minute break and I’m going to let all the effects come in. And then we’ll give you a complete rundown of how I’m feeling the effects of this herb. Okay, I’ll be back in just a second.

[00:13:04] Ten minutes later…

[00:13:08] Well, my friends, that was one of those times where I was so stoned that I literally forgot what I was doing. I was just sitting here at my computer. You know, that’s where I do the podcast from my computer. And I was just spacing out. There is a lizard that’s running around on our patio, a long lizard. He’s about a foot long. And I was watching him and I forgot that I was doing a podcast.

[00:13:41] Oh, my gosh, this one… I’m going to start at the back of my notes. You know, as I’ve mentioned before, I write notes as I am having a 10 minute break. And the last note that I wrote, before I went into full space out mode on this lizard, was this particular herb is like stepping off the treadmill of life, and puts things into neutral. And that, basically, sums up my stoned experience that I’ve been having for the last 10 minutes… 10 minutes might’ve been 15 minutes.

[00:14:22]I’ll go back to the top of my notes – it immediately had a “cool” feeling – and cool, and that’s in quotes. It had immediate “cool” feeling by that I mean it was relaxed my eyes were lidded, and I felt laid back. That is a feeling I often associate with OG Kush. And that is a feeling that puts OG Kush at the top of my list. So, that is very impressive when a strain gives me that immediate – ah, like you’re Snoopy as Joe Cool in the comic strip. Leaning back against a building, sunglasses on, just checking out the scene going on. Oh my gosh. Very cool feeling.

[00:15:11] Also, some strains kind of make me feel like kind of heavy in the lungs. This one as was actually a very easy breathing strain, kind of lung expanding, you know… after about three, four minutes, it really just started causing my mind to wander a lot. You know what I mean? This is like this… it is… I am having a bit of a struggle here holding a straight thought while I’m sharing this with you. It does cause your mind to wander a lot.

[00:15:45] Well, let’s, let me tell you about what, what happened during that 10 minutes. Why I got so stoned was I’ve been smoking my bong and I was like going, where is that… where is that Cereal Milk… that signature Cereal Milk flavor that I was looking forward to. Why am I not getting that?

[00:16:05] And so I got my pipe out. And I packed a bowl in my pipe of the Cereal Milk and I started smoking… I took a hit of that. And I noted that it was a touch sweeter than my bong was tasting. It was just a touch sweeter, but it was very subtle kind of sweetness. Well, from there I forgot that what I was doing.

[00:16:30] And I ended up smoking my whole bowl in my pipe… finishing the bong. So I’ve had like several bowls of Cereal Milk since the last time we talked and my brain is running about half the speed that I think it was before. I think… I don’t know. I’m just like… I hope all of that made sense. I’m sort of in a cloud, you know, I have that “in a cloud” kind of feeling with a really strong buzz, really strong buzz. But then again, I smoked a lot. I must have taken about five hits off the bong… about five hits from my pipe. Um, I mean, I have a high tolerance, but you know, high tolerance only goes so far, oh my.

[00:17:28] Well, let’s see. Seeing as I’m already up here in the clouds. Let’s just take one more hit from the bong of this, just to, just to cap that off.

[Sound of bong toke]

[00:17:58] Yeah, um, kind of a charcoal flavor to that. Um, I was really, I’m really amazed that the flavor just is not there. Huh.

[00:18:12] Well, what are we gonna do with this on the Holy Grail scale? What do we do with this one? Gosh, the effects, the effects are a 4.25. You know what I mean? The effects are 4.25.

They’re a great company, you know, so I want to give them good points – just for the fact that they do things right. But the, the smell was not there and the taste was not there. And so I am unfortunately going to have to give this a 3.75 – and I am also going to make a note that I’m going to try a different cereal milk in the future and see if it is even better.

Because the stone here, oh my gosh. I mean, if that’s the only thing that we were basing our Holy Grail scale on, yeah, we’d be fine. But that isn’t the only thing that the Holy Grail scale is based on. It’s gotta have a nose that is room filling. It’s gotta have taste that just knocks you out. It’s gotta have a high like I’m having now, but even better. So on the Holy Grail scale, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to give Coastal Suns cereal, milk 3.75. And, and that’s the way it is. That’s the way it is this week.

[00:19:53] Thank you so much for joining me here on this adventure… gosh… the buzz, it’s a 4.25… it’s a 4.5. I mean, seriously. Great high. Okay.

But anyways, before I have the opportunity to drift off, I should say thank you to my subscribers. Thank you so much for everybody who’s joined me on this podcasting adventure… this podcasting journey. Thank you so much. I totally appreciate you coming around and listening to my reviews. We will be posting more reviews coming up every Wednesday. So check them out… boy, oh man… The herb definitely is messing with my closing here so I’m just going to say… I’m just going to close this out. I’m just going to say thank you so much. And until next week, best of health.